Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Lessons from walking against the wind

It's September.  I thought I'd be up and running next week, but, barring some miracle, I won't.  The truck's just arrived in Ottawa, and my mechanic hasn't really gotten the depth of the work to be done figured out yet, the space is not found, and I'm going to move out of my very troublesome two bedroom apartment.  I was trying to wait so there'd be less stress this month, but the stress kind of built into a volcano in the last couple of weeks, and the latest lying by the landlords (the house is being shown to prospective buyers, the landlords are saying they've taken it off the market) is just the icing on the gravy, as my friend Mary MacDonald used to say.  So I'm looking for an apartment and for a place for the truck, and the two searches are combining into one... Mostly I'm focusing on an apartment so far, and trying to find somewhere that I can work out of as well- that has enough space for dry goods storage and suits Zip and I both well. 

I have learned a pretty important lesson about working for myself in the last couple of weeks as well- I've got to keep breathing, and when I feel like my work life is like this picture, I've gotta find a bit of shelter and think things through and relax.  Not taking a bit of a break doesn't really do me any good, and working slow and starting small is a better idea than doing everything at once and trying to get everything ready super fast.  The busy-ness led to a bit of exhaustion, and I tried to take a break by canning- which I'm happy to have done, but I also sort of think that curling up and sleeping in MAY have been a better rest than putting a bushel of tomatoes, 24 liters of peaches and a 1/2 bushel of cucumber dill pickles.  May have been more restful?  Um, yeah. I got some beautiful preserves, with the help of a friend who wanted to learn to can, though, and will do a little salsa soon too- but really, just a little- like a dozen jars.  Cooking really relaxes me a lot more than parking lot and apartment hunting, and if I don't keep at it, I don't keep sane- and that's no good.

The other thing I'm trying to do is to pay attention to the bits of my plan that are confusing me a bit- like how am I going to teach classes in the evening after working a full day in the truck?  Am I going to be a superhuman in seven months when that's supposed to take effect?  I somehow doubt it.  So, either I have someone running the kitchen when I teach in the evenings, or I don't sell from the truck that day(quite a financial and reputation loss- who likes an unreliable lunch spot?).  Is the truck big enough for two?  Will I be able to find someone who can make as delicious soups as me? Foolishly, I just sent in a resume to Loblaws to do a poorly paid lunchtime cooking class and have a call for another- do I agree to do these in order to create a reputation when it is financially a bad decision but is something I enjoy?  And when I have doubts about the truck running at all, do I keep working on it or work on developing a Plan B?  My inclination is to tighten the focus of Plan A and to work more on it, not to succumb to doubts... Or the fierce and dusty winds of exhaustion...

1 comment:

Wendy said...

Hang in there, sis. The truck sounds wonderful - focus focus focus.