It's taking longer than I ever thought possible

So, when my second cousin, who's been working with start ups for a couple of decades told me about the two and a half rule, I have to admit, I thought to myself that this was likely for other businesses, and not necessarily for mine.
The two and half rule goes like this: Any new business will...

1. Will cost twice what you estimate

2. Take twice as long to launch, profitably

3. And produce 1/2 what you project.

So far, number two is really where I am feeling the crunch the most.  Well, alright, number one is also becoming more and more feasible too- especially with the mechanic's bill coming up.  The truck is roadworthy thanks to the magical networking for parts done by my mechanic Hani at Paradise Auto and a pretty big bill.  It drives beautifully, and tomorrow will do so legally, crossing the bridge to Gatineau where we'll plunk it in my sister's driveway and rip out the interior crap (by which I mean grease-laden deep fryers) before it goes to be stripped down at the painters and painted it's beautiful colours.  All of which is costing more than I thought...  I'm thinking about taking an accounting class at Algonquin on weekends in November as I simply can't seem to wrap my head around managing the money- it's so different from the household, and I frankly feel a little lost with it.

The solar system is being designed (this sentence really makes me think of Slartibartfast who designed Earth in the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy), I think the ventilation is figured out, and the fridge is on hold until I get the energy budget worked out.  The solar really is going to be on the awning, just like the funny little Sanyo truck I posted so long ago. It'll be awesome. It'll be ready just after the winter solstice, when there is no sun.  It'll be so ironic. 

I do hope to be ready to serve soup before the solar system (heehee) is up and running- I'll just charge the batteries from home, and they'll be linked into the truck engine as a generator as well, and I will be looking for space as the painting is getting done.  Winter approaches, and work is getting done, and I moved in the last week which was a bit intense. Moving is pretty stressful. And I did two community workshops last week too- a preserving one at Transition Ottawa and a fall harvest one for the Good Food Box.

And then, there's this whole way of working that is new. Entrepreneurship is amazing, but it's also really scary to have no one to report to, and to be only responsible to yourself.  It's funny how much freedom can be terrifying- I totally believe in what I am doing, yet I find myself almost breathless from fear for doing it sometimes, and sometimes frozen from fear.  I find myself making this path I've wanted to walk for so long, making something really great and intense, and walking it so slow as though I have to talk myself into walking it all along the path.  It's like hiking alone, or long meditation retreats.  It's as scary to confront the self through work as it is through things that are obviously spiritual- yet somehow I never foresaw how great this challenge would be and how big my obstacles are- I guess over thirty years of school instruction and work instruction have left pretty deep ruts on my brain pathways of responding to what others have to say about how I am to live.  There's a process of unlearning the habits of being evaluated by others, reporting to others.  Seth Godin seems to be writing about this, and I am starting to read his work.

Maybe there's a two and a half rule for the personal and community growth involved with making this path-I just don't know the parameters yet...